Stop saying yes to everything: How to take control of your workload

If your workload feels heavier than ever, you’re not imagining it. Australian workplace research shows excessive workload is one of the biggest drivers of employee stress, yet too many people still wait until they’re overwhelmed, resentful or ready to resign before they speak up.

For women, this can be especially complicated. Many have been conditioned under traditional gender norms to be helpful, accommodating and easy to work with. We say yes to the extra task, absorb the last-minute request, take on the ‘quick’ favour that is never quick, and then wonder why we feel stretched beyond capacity.

Fear often sits underneath the silence: What if speaking up makes me look lazy? What if I’m seen as difficult? What if my boss thinks I can’t cope? But staying silent makes you more vulnerable to stress, mistakes, resentment and burnout.

The answer is not to keep pushing until you fall in a heap, hope someone notices how much you are carrying, or wait until quitting feels like the only way out. The better approach is to have a proactive, practical and solutions-focused conversation before the wheels fall off.

This is not about whinging or dumping your stress on your manager to fix. It’s about taking ownership of what you can control: your communication, preparation, boundaries and willingness to speak up early. 

Get clear before you speak up

When you’re overwhelmed, everything can feel urgent, heavy and impossible. Saying “I’m overwhelmed” may be true, but on its own is unlikely to represent what’s going on. Before raising the issue, get the workload out of your head and onto paper. List your current tasks, projects, deadlines, meetings and recurring responsibilities. Then look at the list properly. What is genuinely urgent? Which deadlines are clashing? What keeps getting pushed back? What are you assuming needs to be done now, when it may not?

Clarity shifts the conversation from emotion to evidence. You’re no longer walking into your boss’ office saying “I can’t cope”. You’re walking in with a clear picture of what’s on your plate and a willingness to work through it. 

Make it about priorities, not pressure

Many people approach workload conversations from the wrong angle. They focus on the problem they face – “I have too much work” – rather than the outcome they want: less work due now.

A more effective approach is to frame the conversation around priorities. Try saying: “I wanted to meet with you to discuss my work tasks and priorities. I’ve listed everything I’m currently working on and ordered it based on what I believe is most important. I want to make sure this aligns with your view of what you’d like me to focus on.” 

This does two important things. First, it highlights the volume of work being carried. Your manager may not realise how many tasks have accumulated. Second, it positions you as proactive and solutions-focused. You’re not dumping a problem on your boss. You’re asking for clarity so you can focus your time and energy where it matters most.

The outcome may not be that tasks disappear. But a prioritisation conversation can clarify what matters most, what can wait, what needs to shift and what expectations need to be reset.

Bring options, not a problem dump

Before raising a workload concern, think about possible solutions and alternatives.

Could a deadline move? Could a task be delegated? Could a meeting be shortened or skipped? Could expectations be clarified? Could the focus be on the top three priorities this week while the rest is paused?

You do not need to have all the answers, but bringing options increases your influence. It shows you are not there to complain; you are there to help solve. That does not mean taking responsibility for an unreasonable workload that sits outside your control. It means owning the parts you can control.

Stop handing over control of your deadlines

Speaking of control, stop automatically letting other people dictate your deadlines.

When someone gives you a task, instead of asking, “When do you need it?” and having them respond with “now”, suggest a deadline based on your capacity, calendar and current priorities. For example: “Yes, I can get that done for you by close of business Wednesday”. You may be surprised how often the other person agrees.

Too often, urgency is assumed. A request is made and immediately treated as though it needs to be done now. But not everything is urgent. If Wednesday doesn’t work, you can negotiate from there. 

The same applies when a new request clashes with an existing priority: “I’m happy to take this on, but it will mean delaying the report I’m currently working on. Is that what you’d like me to do?” This is clear, respectful and assertive. It also makes the trade-off visible to your leader. Because every ‘yes’ has a cost. When you say yes to one thing, you are saying no, or not yet, to something else.

Workload pressure rarely improves through silence. Avoidance makes problems grow.

Taking control of your workload doesn’t mean doing everything – it means communicating clearly about what is realistic, what matters most and what needs to change.