Does the thought of networking make you wilt a little bit inside? Or fill you with nausea-inducing anxiety?

Many years ago, I held the mindset that networking was a dirty word and comprised of events where you were shoved in some room with many other people, forced to make small talk and fend off pushy salespeople with their business cards.

If I am being brutally honest, I was wrong and a snobby idiot about networking. There are still events filled with people making small talk and perhaps trying to sell some stuff. The reality is that these types of events are a microscopic component of networking.

Any time you are with someone other than yourself, you are networking. That means work meetings, one-on-one meetings with your manager or mentor, town hall meetings, work offsites, industry conferences, Zoom calls, etc. And there are two truth bombs you need to know about networking.

Truth bomb #1 about networking

Networking is working, and that requires a mindset shift.

As you advance your career, becoming known as a skilled networker with extensive connections becomes increasingly important. When you are a CEO, you are your organisation’s primary salesperson, which means you must build and leverage strategic networks to move the business forward.

As women, we must be our primary salespeople (be our own CEO!) and know how to build and leverage strategic networks to advance our careers.

After a significant career change in 2005, I realised that growing my organisation was my responsibility, which meant I needed to network more in my industry. I used to dread going to events alone, initiating conversations with strangers, and fearing being left wandering aimlessly like a lonely child at a new school. As a result, I avoided networking events and didn’t initiate any networking activities myself.

But I learned that people do business with people they know, respect, and trust. Therefore, how can I grow my organisation if no one knows me, respects my work, and trusts what my organisation stands for and delivers? How can I grow my organisation without actively building mutually beneficial relationships?

Truth bomb #2 about networking

Networking is a set of skills that can be learned and mastered with disciplined practice.

One of the reasons that I had avoided networking was that I lacked the requisite skills, so I felt shy and awkward. I needed to learn the skills and techniques to help me overcome the awkwardness I felt when I met someone new. So, I started learning by reading, finding techniques that I was comfortable with, and then practising.

A technique that I learned for in-person networking is to have a set of questions in my mental back pocket that I ask new people I meet. It’s a great way to get to know people and go beyond blathering about the weather or the footy. Most people don’t mind chatting about themselves!

Here are some questions I ask:

• When you were 15, what did you think you’d do with your life?
• What made you choose the job or profession you have?
• How did you earn your first pay packet?
• What’s the best job you’ve ever done?
• If you could spend an hour with anyone in the world, who would it be?

What could your question bank look like?

Now, I do have a three-question limit. I abandon ship if I have asked three questions and have yet to have reciprocal questions or a conversation started. Networking is about generosity and reciprocity. So, if you have a skilled networker getting to know you like this, please reciprocate by asking them something about themselves.

Another technique I enjoy is using the ‘wing-woman’ technique for busting into those clustered groups of people at events and starting a conversation. My wing-woman and I approach the group and ask to join them by saying, “Can we join the conversation? I’m dying for you to meet my colleague Gloria because she is a pro at <insert what Gloria is a pro at>. I have promised her that I’d help her make three new connections today.”

Gloria then responds by saying something like, “Thanks, Michelle, you’re very generous, and these folks should also know that you’re a rock star <insert Michelle’s rock start skills>”. These are great conversation starters and allows the existing group to introduce themselves, and away you go.

From conversation to networking action

Now that you know just two of the many truth bombs about networking, it’s time to:

• Check your mindset; remember, networking is working.
• Prepare your networking conversation starters: prior planning prevents poor performance!
• Find a wing-woman to support you at your next networking event.
• Be deliberate about networking at in-house work events too.

It’s important to remember that networking is not just about collecting business cards. It’s about creating relationships that are mutually beneficial and are founded on generosity and reciprocity. Therefore, sharing your time, knowledge, and resources is crucial.

So, step out of your comfort zone and network like a boss. Your career will thank you for it!