You don’t have to vibe with everyone to do your job well.
Almost everyone has worked with someone who rubbed them the wrong way. The power move here is to learn to handle the tension like a pro without letting it derail your confidence or career.
Here’s how you can work with a colleague you don’t like:
1. Normalise it
Liking all your co-workers isn’t a job requirement. You’re a professional, not at summer camp. The idea of a tight-knit work ‘family’ is sweet in theory, but it’s not always realistic. Only 20 per cent of US workers agree they have a best friend at work.
If you feel off around someone or don’t click with their personality, you’re not failing at teamwork — you’re human. A little distance doesn’t mean dysfunction. The goal is to create mutual respect, clear communication and healthy boundaries so you can both do your jobs well.
2. Separate the person from the problem
You don’t need to psychoanalyse your colleagues to understand them — you just need to zoom out emotionally.
Start by identifying the specific behaviours that bother you. Is it their tone in meetings, the way they shoot down your ideas or their micromanaging? Naming the behaviour, instead of labelling the person, gives you clarity and power.
Try reframing the situation from judgement to observation. For example, instead of thinking that they’re rude, shift to thinking that they value efficiency over small talk. This mindset tweak doesn’t excuse bad behaviour, but it does give you more control over your response.
Process your reactions outside the workplace. Whether you journal your feelings about it, make voice notes or vent to a trusted friend, your emotional hygiene matters just as much as your professional composure.
3. Set professional boundaries
When someone pushes your buttons, boundaries become your best friend. Decide what you will and won’t tolerate. This might mean limiting one-on-one conversations, opting for written communication over verbal, or scheduling short check-ins with a clear agenda.
Then, express your needs with kindness and clarity. For instance, saying “I find I focus better when we have structured meeting notes” is more effective than “you’re all over the place”. Professional boundaries are about protecting your peace rather than controlling others.
Remember, consistency is key. Boundaries don’t work if you keep moving the line. Respect yourself enough to stick to them.
4. Focus on the mission, not the mood
When someone’s energy throws you off, it’s easy to obsess over their every word or email. Anchor yourself with purpose. Get clear on what you’re there to do and what kind of impact you want to create.
The more connected you are with your goals, the less space difficult co-workers have to take up in your mind.
5. Lean on mentors and micro-moments
Nobody handles workplace tension totally solo. Talk to someone you trust — a mentor, coach or even a colleague in a different department.
The key is to talk strategy, not smack, which helps you show your openness to tackling such issues with care and find solutions without feeding the drama.
Don’t underestimate the power of micro-moments. After a tough interaction, take a loop around the building, drink a glass of water and do a one-minute breath reset. Acknowledging your feelings instead of carrying them around like a backpack full of bricks helps you find inner peace and allows you to avoid the trap of a dark mental space.
6. Know when it’s bigger than you
Some colleagues are just annoying. Others are harmful. If you’re dealing with bullying, gaslighting, repeated undermining or verbal aggression, this is about a toxic environment.
Start documenting what happened, when and who was there. Then, bring your concerns to HR or a trusted manager. Don’t downplay mistreatment to keep the peace. Your psychological safety is nonnegotiable.
As hard as it may be to speak up, silence only protects the behaviour. You deserve a workplace where you’re respected and supported.
A clash course in office friction
Working with someone you don’t like doesn’t have to be your daily drama. Remember, you don’t need to be best friends to be brilliant teammates. Take a breath, set your boundaries and carry on like the unstoppable force you are.
