Chalant dating: What is it and how you can be more chalant?

‘Chalant dating’ is an approach that’s all about emotional engagement and intentionality.

Both men and women on Hinge are increasingly seeking a chalant partner – someone who makes a plan and follows through. According to Hinge research, searches for the word “chalant” surged by 217 per cent* this year, as more people long for a partner who puts in the work.

People are looking beyond superficial aspects. When we asked men and women the traits that define a “high value” partner, the top traits women told us were emotional availability (35 per cent), acknowledgement and respect for emotional needs (25 per cent), and consistent communication (22 per cent). For men, a “high-value” partner is someone who is willing to build the relationship (24 per cent), kind (22 per cent), and loyal (22 per cent).

We’re also seeing that financial providers are no longer the primary marker of a desirable partner for women. In fact, 72 per cent of heterosexual women on Hinge said they care more about a partner’s effort in building a relationship than about their income.

The move towards chalant dating reflects a broader cultural reset. People are seeking relationships that feel more intentional, consistent, and emotionally engaged.

For many women, increased independence through career advancement and education has redefined what they want in a partner. Rather than just looking for a “provider”, they’re now seeking something more nuanced – they’re looking for someone who can demonstrate they care through their actions.

At the same time, many men are rethinking how they show up in relationships. There’s growing awareness that true masculinity isn’t rooted in stoicism or emotional detachment, but rather vulnerability and follow through. In fact, 60 per cent of heterosexual men on Hinge now say that planning consistent dates is an important part of how they engage in romantic relationships, a sign that many are recognising how meaningful making a plan truly is.

We’re in the age of the planner. People are looking for someone who makes a plan and follows through. For 84 per cent of heterosexual women on Hinge, planning a thoughtful date is more impressive than spending a lot of money on it. And 74 per cent say that making specific plans in advance is a key signal of effort.

Planning ahead shows effort and thoughtfulness. It’s no longer about one person being the provider. Rather, it’s about both people building something together.

How to be ‘chalant’ on Hinge:

• Build your profile with intention. Effort extends beyond showing interest in others — it starts with showing up authentically as yourself. Move away from one-word, generic, or cliche prompt responses and instead highlight the interests and values that make you unique.
• Show genuine curiosity by asking questions. Most people love to talk about themselves, especially when the questions allow them to genuinely reflect and share more about what lights them up.
• Move off the app and onto a date. At Hinge, we’ve found that three days of chatting on the app is the sweet spot. For arranging a date, one of my favourite approaches is to suggest a specific day, time, and activity – bonus points if the idea is thoughtfully tailored to their specific interests, or related to a conversation you’ve been having. Even if that doesn’t work for them, it gives you a jumping off point to make a concrete plan.

Let’s move past outdated general roles and focus instead on being a chalant partner who puts in thoughtful effort, makes a plan, and follows through.

*Search and social volume insights provided using two-year trend data from Keywords Everywhere, a Google search volume analytics platform, and social listening platforms, Brandwatch and YouScan.