From ghosts to almosts: The stories woven through your fashion choices

What I’ve come to learn, with myself and with so many people, is that so many of the things hanging in our wardrobes have a story to tell. While each item we own has its own unique backstory, together they form our buying behaviour.

The path they took from hanging on a rack to hanging in your wardrobe says so much about your buying habits. From the way you were feeling when you bought them, to the expectations you have of how you want to look, to the comfort zones you’ve carved out in your self-image. Patterns start to emerge that group together the things we own into categories that reflect these stories.

I’ve listed some of the most common I come across below. You might recognise some of your wardrobe in this list:

• The greatest hits: The absolute cream of the crop, you wear these on high rotation and wish every item in your wardrobe was as spot on as this.
• The almosts: Pieces that were almost there but not quite. Maybe you loved the idea in your head but not in reality.
• The shots in the dark: Things you bought as a complete guess that turned out to be better than expected.
• The grabs: The impulse purchases that you bought thinking they’d be great but weren’t.
• The duplicates: Things you own that are all remarkably similar, or the things you bought in another colour because you liked one you already had.
• The fantasies: The pieces you bought to be the person you wish you could be.
• The ghosts: The pieces that haunt you, hanging unworn in your wardrobe despite once being something you loved.
• The postcards: The pieces that evoke memories, happy or sad, that are hard to get rid of because letting them go would mean letting go of a part of yourself.
• The guilt: The pieces you spent too much on to get rid of, despite never actually wearing them or feeling good in them.
• The workhorses: Those rinse-and-repeat pieces that aren’t anything special but are always reliable.
• The fixables: Those things that will be perfect once you take them to the tailor to be fixed or fitted.
• The drama queens: Those high-maintenance pieces that evoke instant nausea with their complicated care label demands.
• The alter egos: Those things you bought that just aren’t you.
• The placeholders: These are the things we buy while we wait for the right thing.
• The strangers: Those pieces that make you say, ‘why do I even own this?’
• The one days: Those pieces you save for ‘best’, that you reach for and eventually chicken out of actually wearing for fear of being too overdressed, or spilling something on it, or maybe even being seen.

What is ‘style’?

We have a tendency to view our clothes and our style as one homogenous ‘thing’.  I don’t know about you, but I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve fantasised about overhauling my style, or dreamed of what it would be like to go on one of those makeover shows and get a whole new wardrobe, as though my style and confidence in myself would be easier if I could just find the right clothes.

But the collection of clothes we own forms a complex tapestry of who we are. Our wardrobes hold insights to our insecurities, our self-perception, our lifestyle, changes we’ve undergone in our lives, and even our emotions.

We can learn a lot from the stories our clothes tell us, and being open to the granularity of why we’ve bought what we’ve bought, both in an emotional sense (I’m looking at you, fantasies, alter egos and ghosts) and in a logistical sense (I’m looking at you, duplicates, placeholders and workhorses), we can understand ourselves better, and learn to experience our clothes, our style and our self-image differently.

Because when we really think about it, style actually isn’t as easy as it’s sold to be. Stylists spend time curating the seemingly effortless looks we fawn over, and celebrities have experts helping them look good. For retailers and advertisers, though, it’s profitable to sell the idea that looking good is simply a combination of the right items.

Wardrobe story audit

Start thinking about the stories your clothes are telling. Which of those categories had you going ‘OMG, that’s me’? Follow that thread into your wardrobe and spend some time getting curious with your clothes and exploring which categories they fit into. Can you find a duplicate? What about a greatest hit? Any almosts in there?

Then, whenever you pick up an item of clothing you own, consider which category it might fit into based on its back story. You’ll notice a major shift in your understanding of and connection to your clothes once you start viewing your clothes through these lenses.