Do you have an escapism mentality? Here’s how to spot the signs

Have you ever played a game or imagined yourself far away in Honolulu instead of finishing a project or working on a fast-approaching deadline? You may think you’re just procrastinating, but you may have developed an escapism mentality.

Wishing reality was different and that you could just escape is an unhelpful coping mechanism that can become destructive. Here’s how to spot the signs of this harmful mental state and learn how to come back to reality.

What is escapism mentality?

An escapism mentality occurs when your mind is unhappy with the present state of affairs and hides away in wishful thinking, fantasy, or daydreaming instead of working on fixing things or persevering.

This mindset develops when you use being elsewhere as a coping mechanism whenever you feel challenged. Dreams feel safer than reality, so you hide there each time the pressure mounts.

Using fiction to avoid reality is an early coping mechanism for children, and when you dive into social media rather than face a difficult challenge, you’re engaging in the adult version of covering your ears and humming.

Developing this mindset is dangerous as it prevents you from reaching your full potential. Instead of giving your best in your work or personal life, you hide away and become more stressed.

5 signs you’ve developed escapism mentality

How do you know you’ve developed a chronic “running away” mentality? You may think that daydreaming is healthy — after all, kids do it — but constant avoidance distorts your ability to cope with reality, creating problems, not solutions. Consider these signs you’re hiding from reality:

1. You daydream constantly

What you fantasise about doesn’t matter, but you’re off in la la land more than in the office. When people interrupt your flights of fancy or if you are forced to remain mentally present, you become irritable and agitated.

Take action now: Note your irritations, and record what happened to annoy you and what you were busy with. Try a fantasy detox — avoid fantastical thinking or daydreaming for a week. Keep resetting until you no longer feel upset when people approach you or interrupt your thinking.

2. You actively death scroll on social media

Your hours spent online and on social media are more than you realise, and your first instinct is to click or swipe when you feel pressured. You’d rather watch cat videos on YouTube than work on that presentation — and you don’t even like cats.

If you had a metre running, you’d be horrified by how many hours you’re on the internet daily. The internet is one of the biggest fantasy spaces out there, and it’s convenient to fall into that digital rabbit hole with access to multiple devices. It’s so pervasive that employers often include social media bans in their employment contracts.

Plus, the fear of missing out (FOMO) worsens because of neuroticism, so you’ll become upset and agitated during a scroll session, no matter who interrupts your hideaway time. FOMO and neurotic behaviour may increase social media use.

Take action now: Compartmentalise your time. Set aside 30 minutes for social media in the morning and again after dinner. Put your phone on silent or airplane mode for the rest of the day. Note that you may fear missing out, but with consistency, these feelings will pass.

3. You play ‘hunger games’

Escape can happen in a video game or an ice cream tub, and if you constantly think about food instead of working or facing your personal challenges, you may need a distraction. Food is a powerful escapist tool, especially when you experience a drop in serotonin levels because of stress or seasonal changes.

Take action now: Stick to a healthy meal twice daily and be more creative with your third. Avoid snacking, and try taking a walk followed by journalling or listening to a wellness podcast to replace hunger behaviour.

4. You become addicted to substances and activities

Substance abuse is a popular version of the ultimate escape. The body becomes inebriated, and your mind feels free of mortal toils. However, misusing substances like alcohol or drugs can cause significant health risks, and you still come back to earth once the high wears off.

Constant thrill-seeking with activities like gaming can cost your life, friends, opportunities and dignity, and you’ll constantly feel tired and demotivated afterwards.

Take action now: Seek counselling, as this isn’t a road you should walk alone. 

5. You work compulsively

An unusual form of escapism is to throw yourself into your work, forgetting anything else happening around you. Being a workaholic is often praised. However, about 20 per cent of workers have a close work friend, which can also improve performance.

Take action now: If you’ve worked compulsively, it’s time for a detox. Take an extended vacation, switch off your phone and laptop, learn to enjoy hobbies and communicate with your family.

Beating escapism mentality

To beat this habit of hiding from life, you must first realise you are doing it and understand why. Next, address your chosen hideaway and watch out for new obsessions that can replace the old ones.

Practise deciding when a little mental getaway is appropriate. Keep a journal and remain alert to avoid this behaviour from reasserting itself.

Practise self-awareness to catch yourself when you board the brain bus and start to lose life’s focus. When you discover you lack situational awareness or personal perspective, it’s time to start looking for the signs you’re choosing escapist behaviour.