Psychologist shares 4 ways to get out of your head and into your life

Do you ever feel stuck in your head, endlessly thinking about past mistakes or worrying about what the future will bring? Your inner voice might be asking yourself questions such as:

• “What if I make a fool of myself?”
• “I wish I didn’t say that!”
• “What if they don’t like me?”
• “Why didn’t I speak up?”
• “What if I lose my job?”

We all worry. But spending all this time in your head can take a toll on your mental health and keep you from being present in the here and now. The key is to find ways to channel and respond to these worries – and take back control.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck or just frustrated with a catastrophic thinking spiral, as a clinical psychologist I’ve laid out four ways to get out of your head and into your life:

1. Knowledge is power

Understanding worry is the key to gaining control of your mind. Worry is the thinking part of our anxiety response. These thoughts help alert us to potential threats or problems so we can take effective actions: to plan, to prepare or to protect.

This means that worrying can work for you, instead of against you. For example:

• You’re worried about doing well in an exam; it motivates you to study.
• You’re worried that it might rain on your wedding day; you organise a Plan B.
• You’re worried that your child is not thriving at school; you schedule a meeting with their teacher.

Next time you find yourself worrying, ask yourself, “Are my worries leading to healthy, helpful and effective actions?” If not, they just might not be worth worrying about.

2. Mindfulness

Sometimes we worry about things that we have no control over. The harsh reality is that some problems are simply not solvable. Worrying about things we can’t change or solve doesn’t help, it just makes us feel worse.

When we can’t solve something, the next best option is to accept it.

Mindfulness is an acceptance practice that keeps us grounded in the here and now, rather than ruminating about the past or worrying about the future. When we engage in mindfulness, we reduce the power of relentless and intrusive worry thoughts and make space to focus our energy into things that help us move forward.

Try these two mindfulness techniques to manage your worry thoughts:

Observe your thoughts

Thoughts are just thoughts; we don’t have to attach ourselves to them. Just notice your worries non-judgmentally and watch them as they move through your mind.

Try this: Mindfulness of thoughts like ‘clouds in the sky’

Refocus your attention

Whether you are ruminating about the past or stressing about the future, worrying is the opposite of being present. Focus on your senses to bring you back to the here and now.

Try these exercises: Practical mindfulness: Come to your senses

3. Progressive muscle relaxation

One of the most efficient and effective ways to calm your mind is by relaxing your body. Relaxation exercises can slow down your racing thoughts, help you distract from rumination and overanalysing and instill a sense of confidence in your ability to cope in challenging situations. The best thing about it is it can provide relief within a short period of time.

Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) is the most evidence-based relaxation technique for stress and anxiety reduction. PMR involves systematically tensing and then relaxing different muscles groups to create a deep state of relaxation in your body.

Not only does this help in the moment, but regular practice will lower your overall levels of stress and anxiety, making you less vulnerable to runaway worry loops.

Try this: Progressive muscle relaxation for stress and anxiety

4. Allocate ‘worry time’

Did you know that most of us are worrying two or more hours during the day and losing one or more hours of sleep every night?

We can’t stop worrying altogether, but we can learn to create healthy boundaries for our worries using a science-backed technique called ‘worry time’.

Worry time involves setting aside a specific time and place to worry. Not only does this reduce the amount of time we worry to just 15 to 30 minutes a day, but it trains our brain to reduce our worry triggers. That means you get to free up your ‘mind time’ to focus better during the day and sleep more at night.

Try the free worry app, Contain Your Brain to schedule your worry time, to safely store your worries and to help you address your worries in healthy and effective ways.

Getting out of your head and into your life isn’t about ignoring your thoughts, it’s about learning how to respond to them in helpful ways. Effective actions can take many forms depending on what you are worried about, whether it’s solvable or unsolvable, and the kinds of strategies that work best for you.