Your self-esteem is the confidence you have in yourself and your abilities. It forms the foundation of how you perceive your worth and is linked to better mental health, higher satisfaction and greater life stability.
Strong self-esteem can be empowering — it helps you trust your instincts, take risks and bounce back from setbacks. In contrast, low self-esteem can contribute to issues like depression and anxiety, especially in high-stress environments.
The good news? Self-esteem is something you can cultivate and strengthen. Here’s how.
What is self-esteem?
At its core, self-esteem is your overall sense of self-worth and self-acceptance. It’s about valuing yourself, believing in your abilities and feeling secure in who you are — flaws and all.
High self-esteem doesn’t mean you think you’re perfect or superior to others. It’s about having a realistic, compassionate view of yourself. You recognise your strengths and weaknesses and treat yourself with kindness.
The benefits of strong self-esteem
When you have healthy self-esteem, it permeates every aspect of your life. You:
- Are more resilient and better able to bounce back from setbacks.
- Take healthy risks and aren’t afraid to step out of your comfort zone.
- Are less affected by the opinions and judgements of others.
- Can form more meaningful relationships.
- Feel empowered to pursue your goals and ambitions.
Low self-esteem can lead to anxiety, depression, procrastination and a tendency to avoid challenges. Studies show that self-esteem levels are lower among women compared to men. This could be attributed to societal gender roles and an increase in unhealthy behaviours like self-doubt, harsh self-criticism, people-pleasing and perfectionism. Women with low self-esteem often feel undeserving of love, success and happiness.
In Australia alone, 80 per cent of women are dissatisfied with their bodies triggered by unrealistic beauty standards, resulting in problematic dieting or disordered eating behaviors. This explains why they spend up to $22 billion annually on their appearance without realising those with traditional ‘good looks’ tend to enjoy better relationships and improved career prospects.
5 proven strategies to build self-esteem
Ready to cultivate unshakeable self-esteem? Try these research-backed tips:
1. Identify negative self-talk
One of the first steps in building self-esteem is recognising how you speak to yourself.
Pay attention to that internal dialogue. If you frequently criticise or doubt yourself, you’re likely chipping away at your own confidence and esteem.
To shift this, try reframing, which is the art of shifting negative to positive thoughts. For example, instead of saying, “I’ll never be good at this,” reframe it to, “This is challenging, but I’m learning and growing.” This small adjustment in mindset is a decisive step toward self-acceptance – an essential building block of self-esteem.
2. Set realistic, achievable goals
Goals give you a sense of purpose and a reason to keep moving forward. But it’s important to set achievable goals. Unrealistic goals can lead to feelings of inadequacy if they aren’t met.
Start with small, realistic goals and celebrate each accomplishment. People who regularly achieve smaller goals feel a boost in self-esteem and confidence, which fuels them to tackle bigger challenges.
Breaking down big ambitions into smaller, manageable steps gives you more opportunities to succeed, which helps build self-trust and boost confidence.
3. Learn to embrace change
Adapting to change is one of the most challenging aspects of building self-esteem. In fact, managing change five or 10 years ago simply doesn’t compare to leading change today, particularly in the workplace. With technological advances, societal shifts and personal growth demands, navigating change requires resilience and adaptability.
When you face life changes, remember your strengths and successes. Recognise how you’ve adapted before — how you grew and learned. Each change you overcome builds confidence in your ability to handle future transitions.
4. Practise self-compassion and acceptance
Self-compassion is about treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer a friend. This includes recognising that everyone makes mistakes and has moments of struggle. Accepting yourself doesn’t mean you’ll never change — it simply means you’re giving yourself the space (and grace) to learn and grow without harsh criticism.
Practising self-compassion reduces stress and improves emotional resilience. Start by acknowledging your achievements, big or small, and treat setbacks as part (rather than the end) of the journey.
5. Surround yourself with positive influences
The people around you have a direct impact on your self-esteem. Spending time with those who uplift and support you can make a huge difference in how you feel about yourself. Constant exposure to criticism or negativity can damage your self-worth.
Choose to spend time with people who see your strengths, encourage your dreams and challenge you in healthy ways. If certain relationships leave you feeling drained, consider setting boundaries to protect your mental wellbeing. You deserve an environment that supports your self-esteem growth.
Putting it all together
Building self-esteem isn’t a one-and-done proposition — it’s an ongoing journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance. After all, your worth isn’t defined by your achievements or others’ opinions.
You are inherently valuable, exactly as you are. Embrace that truth and watch how it transforms every aspect of your life.
