Whether you’re seeking a pay rise, buying your first home or just need your partner to do more around the house, getting better at negotiation is a life skill that will serve you well.
In my work as a negotiation specialist, I’ve identified five keys to get better at negotiating anything you want. Try these tactics:
1. Identify your value
Whether you’re negotiating at an individual level or on behalf of your business, one thing is certain: if you fail to recognise your value, or the value that your business brings to the table, then you leave yourself exposed to having your value defined by the other party. And if you’re in a negotiation, it’s more than likely to be less than what you’re worth.
The first thing to remember is you’re only negotiating extrinsic value – which is determined by the benefit and usefulness of what you offer to the other party. Your intrinsic value – your personal worth – is never on the table to be negotiated up or down.
Remember, extrinsic value is not, and will never be, a measure of your intrinsic worth.
2. Analyse the data
I know this can conjure up many different images in people’s minds. For me, it used to be numbers, nerds, and spreadsheets. Now, I think of people, their stories, perspectives, beliefs, and much more – it’s like piecing together a puzzle.
Data gives you information, and information gives you not only power but, more importantly, confidence. The easiest way to approach this is to remember there are only two sources of data: people and published.
People data involves insights from personal interactions and observations, and is crucial for understanding others’ motivations and behaviours. Published data includes recorded information, such as reports and statistics, providing an objective basis for positions and strategies.
When you analyse the data, use three lenses: your perspective, their perspective, and an objective perspective so you don’t miss any angles.
3. Understand your leverage
Negotiation is about exchanging value. To maximise what you receive in the exchange, it’s crucial for you to recognise what leverage you have in any negotiation.
Think of leverage as a specific tool, or advantage, you hold that influences the other party towards an agreement. It could be having a piece of critical information, facing a deadline that works in your favour, possessing a unique resource or having more options than the other party.
If you have something valuable that the other party needs or wants, you hold a powerful position. Being influential in negotiations doesn’t have to involve overpowering or dominating the other party.
True power in negotiations can manifest as strength that is used respectfully and collaboratively. This means using power with the other party to achieve mutual goals, rather than exerting power over them to force your own agenda.
Negotiation specialist Glin Bayley.
4. Embrace feeling uncomfortable
Our biggest opportunities for growth often emerge from what makes us uncomfortable. We all face moments that challenge us, pushing us out of our comfort zones.
Negotiation, at its core, is an exercise in stepping into the unknown, into situations that might not always feel comfortable. We’ve all hesitated at times and what I’ve learned is best summed up by Lewis Carroll: “In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make”.
Embracing discomfort is key to unlocking new possibilities and achieving better outcomes. Nobody wants to discover that the person sitting next to them is earning more for doing the same job.
5. Execute the plan
This supposes you have a plan. Most people approach negotiation without one – winging it, for many, seems like a more attractive option in the moment.
You might want to wing it, and the thought of creating a plan might not be something you’re comfortable with, but it’s not about the plan per se, it’s about you. It’s about who you are going to become and what you are going to achieve by going through the process of planning and then executing it.
When you execute a well-thought-out plan, you not only increase your chances of success but also build your confidence and negotiations skills for future challenges.
Negotiation, after all, isn’t just something you do but an expression of who you are through the process. By applying the five tactics above, you will not only increase the value of the agreements you make but transform your confidence and yourself.
