Rethinking wine o’clock: A shame-free approach to drinking less

For many women, the end of a long day signals ‘wine o’clock’. It’s the ritual glass of wine after work, the celebratory bubbles at a birthday, or cocktails with friends on the weekend.

At first, these moments feel like a well-earned reward or a necessary pause in a busy life. But over time, what starts as a treat can quietly become a habit, and for some, it stops serving them altogether.

If this resonates with you, know this: you don’t need to hit rock bottom or face a crisis to rethink your relationship with alcohol. And, most importantly, you don’t need shame. Change is possible — and it can be compassionate, practical, and empowering.

Swap shame for curiosity

Many women approach drinking with self-criticism. “I shouldn’t need this,” or “I’m weak for wanting it,” are common thoughts. The problem? Shame keeps us stuck. It doesn’t inspire change; it fuels guilt loops that drain energy and confidence.

A more effective approach is curiosity. Begin asking yourself:

• What role is alcohol playing in my life right now?
• What am I hoping to get from drinking, and could I get that in another way?
• How do I feel before, during, and after I drink?

These questions aren’t about judgement, they’re about awareness. They allow you to notice patterns and understand your choices, giving you the power to shift habits without guilt.

Practical, compassionate ways to shift your drinking

Changing your drinking habits doesn’t have to be drastic or all-or-nothing. These small yet intentional steps can make a huge difference:

1. Pause before you pour

When you feel the urge to drink, take a two-minute pause. Ask yourself: Do I really want this right now, or do I need something else — connection, rest, or calm? This simple pause builds awareness and gives you space to choose consciously.

2. Explore alcohol-free alternatives

Non-alcoholic drinks have come a long way. Sparkling water, herbal tonics, mocktails, and kombucha can offer the same ritual and satisfaction without alcohol. Sometimes it’s the ritual — not the drink itself — you’re craving.

3. Create drink-free anchors

Replace one or two drinking occasions per week with other habits: a walk, a bath, journalling, or a favourite podcast. Anchors help reinforce that relaxation and joy don’t have to involve alcohol.

4. Track the impact

Pay attention to how you feel on days you drink less or not at all. Note your energy, mood, sleep, and clarity. Seeing the benefits in black and white can strengthen motivation and make the choice to cut back feel positive, not restrictive.

Redefine your story

A common fear is that life without alcohol will feel boring or isolating. In reality, many women discover the opposite. They become more present, more connected to friends and family, and more confident in their choices.

Rather than ‘giving something up’, think of it as choosing more: more energy, more clarity, more self-trust. Every small choice to pause, experiment, or replace a drink is a step toward a life aligned with your wellbeing.

Your pace, your choice

There is no single ‘right’ way to change your drinking habits. Whether you want to take a break, cut back, or stop drinking entirely, the key is self-compassion. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone. You simply need awareness, curiosity, and the willingness to experiment with what feels right for you.

Life doesn’t have to revolve around a glass of wine, or any drink. With practical strategies and a shame-free mindset, you can reclaim energy, focus, and confidence while still enjoying celebrations, rituals, and social occassions.