Back in 2018, I was in an important business meeting, feeling well-prepared. Suddenly, my client asked me a question, and I completely froze.
My throat couldn’t produce a sound, nor did my mouth utter a single word during a 2-hour meeting.
I was shattered. I felt there was something wrong with me.
Twelve years had gone by since I first arrived in Australia, and I still lacked the confidence I needed to talk to people.
Two years later, I was a keynote speaker at an event in front of 500 people, just a week after I performed as a stand-up comedian at a bar for the first time in my life.
How? I had 100 lunches with 100 strangers! This experience gave me the confidence I never had.
I was a firm believer that I hadn’t been born with the ‘confidence gene’, and that it was simply not my path to speak publicly.
Fortunately, I realised that public speaking is much more of a learned skill than innate talent. With a little effort, anyone can be a great public speaker.
Here are my 5 best tips to get over your fear of public speaking and boost your confidence.
1. Preparation
As Benjamin Franklin said: “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail”.
Your anxiety and lack of confidence comes from the fear of the unknown. One of the best ways to be protected from them is to prepare.
When you prepare and practice your speech, the level of uncertainty decreases. You already know what is going to happen, the words you are going to use, the ideas you are going to expose, and you start feeling more confident.
As part of your preparation, you can also arrive in advance to the venue. Familiarising yourself with the space can help you feel more comfortable.
2. Stories connect people
Did you see how I started this article? With a story!
Telling stories is the best way to connect with the audience and keep them engaged, especially when creating your about me slides presentation. Choose to tell stories you enjoy and that can help you create rapport in the room.
You can share as many life stories as you see fit. Ideally, include one recent experience and another one that can draw up a smile in the audience.
Stories can help you become more interesting, captivating, and memorable. It is easy to forget a monosyllabic answer, but a good story is something that makes a home in our memories.
Next time someone asks you how your weekend was, hit them with a nice story instead of going for the habitual response of “good”.
Sharing stories will help you practice and get better at storytelling.
3. Focus on the positive
However good you are at telling something, there will always be two sides to it. The positive side of your journey always needs to prevail.
Don’t worry about what others think and focus on your own development. Did you make a mistake? Congratulations! It means you are learning and experiencing new things.
Always look at situations from a learning standpoint. What can I learn from this? What can I do better next time?
Your audience is there to learn from you. As a public speaker, you are an educator. You are there to inspire, motivate, and entertain your audience. Focus on your message and spread positivity wherever you go.
4. Be yourself
When I first started public speaking, I would get on the stage and share my story. I received great feedback.
But then, I started changing my ways. I tried to become someone I am not, and the feedback went south.
To have success in public speaking, you need to be true to yourself. People are going to appreciate you for who you are and what you can bring to the table. Audiences are looking for authenticity. Don’t ever lose that spark that characterises you.
As soon as I went back to being myself, I felt better and had a better connection with my audience. Be confident in who you are and what you can do.
5. Feel the fear but do it anyway
Do it. And if you are scared, do it with fear.
When I first started my journey, I was terrified and anxious. I was still the same unconfident person that had frozen in that meeting.
But I powered through it. I didn’t let my fear stop me. And I started feeling more comfortable.
Today, I love what I do. I started having lunches with strangers to lose my fear and start being confident. I have had more than 350 lunches with strangers!
Plus, I have made my career out of public speaking after being afraid of talking in a meeting. No, it was not easy at the beginning, but I continued. I started feeling more comfortable, then I became more confident.
Practice makes progress. Stay positive and keep going. Remember, the only approval that truly matters is your own. Always stand up after you fall; in no time you will become unstoppable.
