Language has helped us explore our inner worlds, emotional challenges, and existential questions for hundreds of years. As early as the 1500s, talk therapy has tried to improve our connection to the world around us and improve mental wellbeing.
In recent times, the popularity of therapeutic language in everyday conversation has seen an unprecedented surge.
“This phenomenon, known as ‘therapy speak’, involves the casual use of clinical language to articulate emotions, experiences, and interpersonal dynamics,” explained Dr Sascha Kowalenko, clinical psychologist at The Silver Lining Collective.
She said that terms like “triggered”, “gaslighting”, and “trauma” are no longer reserved for therapy sessions but are now commonplace, reflecting greater awareness and openness when discussing mental health.
Kowalenko said that therapy speak’s popularity is partly thanks to social media, mental health campaigns, and accessible therapy resources. Younger generations are especially open with discussing their mental health, perhaps because they have grown up with the internet and have less internalised shame and judgement about these issues.
While therapy speak can be a good thing and assist with reducing mental health stigma and normalise seeking support, when misused, it can also oversimplify or confuse complex and nuanced experiences. As helpful as online resources can be, they cannot replace highly trained medical and mental health professionals.
“Understanding the role and impact of therapy speak in our daily lives requires a balanced perspective that acknowledges its benefits and potential pitfalls,” said Kowalenko.
She said the benefits of therapy speak have created greater emotional literacy and given individuals the language to articulate their feelings, needs, and experiences more accurately.
“This shared vocabulary can enhance self-awareness, support mental health advocacy, and facilitate more meaningful conversations about emotional wellbeing,” she said.
With a greater emotional vocabulary, people can better convey emotions and experiences in a way that others understand and can relate to, increasing empathy and creating opportunities for connection and support within relationships.
On the flip side, thanks to the rapid pace of information being shared online, some fear that the rise of therapy speak has now swung too far in the opposite direction of the ‘suffer in silence’ mindset of older generations, creating a world in which this language is used so loosely that it loses its meaning.
Is therapy speak overused?
It’s wonderful that people are becoming less afraid to talk about their mental health and share their experiences with others. Suffering in silence is never the answer, and no one should feel ashamed for needing help.
Yet, one downside to the rise of therapy speak has been the way it normalises using serious mental health diagnoses as casual labels for certain behaviours and experiences which, though unpleasant, do not fit the criteria for the true meaning of these terms.
“Calling someone a ‘narcissist’ or ‘borderline’ based on a single interaction overlooks the multifaceted nature of personality and the specific criteria required for a clinical diagnosis,” said Kowalenko.
Not all self-involved or egotistical people have a narcissistic personality disorder. People without personality disorders can struggle with emotional regulation and have coping mechanisms that appear manipulative or disproportionate in the eyes of others.
Overusing these terms not only dilutes their meaning but also creates false negative stereotypes that add to the shame and isolation of those who do live with a diagnosed mental health condition.
If you’re constantly hearing people use a diagnosis you live with to describe negative or toxic individuals, you’re may feel unsafe disclosing your own experience and seeking the deep connection and support that is critical for all of us, but perhaps especially so if we live with a mental health condition that already makes everyday life more challenging.
Kowalenko said that individuals with mental health conditions often work hard to manage their symptoms and navigate a world that may not always understand their experiences, so this added stigma is especially wounding for them.
“Hearing terms like ‘autistic’ or ‘OCD’ used casually or pejoratively can be deeply invalidating and contribute to a sense of alienation,” she said.
“As someone with autistic features, I find it challenging when people refer to others as ‘a bit autistic’ or ‘having a touch of the ’tism’. It trivialises the real struggles and efforts involved in managing such conditions and further contributes to stigma and a sense of not just being misunderstood but also different.”
Dr Sascha Kowalenko, clinical psychologist.
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Flippant labelling can perpetuate stigma and misunderstandings about what people with these diagnoses experience, making it harder for them to be understood and supported. It can also strain relationships and create misunderstandings and unnecessary conflict, damaging trust and communication.
“For instance, accusing someone of ‘gaslighting’ in an argument might escalate the situation rather than fostering constructive dialogue,” said Kowalenko.
“It is important to remember that mental health terminology has specific clinical meanings and should be used with care and accuracy.
“The term gaslighting is frequently misapplied to any disagreement or manipulation, which dilutes the serious nature of this abusive behaviour.”
Kowalenko also said that people frequently label someone as having a personality disorder as a blanket statement for any undesirable traits. Not only is this inaccurate, but it again adds stigma to these complex conditions.
“Therapy speak can be a valuable tool for enhancing emotional literacy and normalising mental health conversations. However, it is crucial to use this language responsibly, particularly when describing others,” said Kowalenko.
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Kowalenko said that overusing or misusing terms like ‘triggered’ can do more harm than good.
People often say they feel triggered whenever they feel any emotional discomfort, which diminishes the visceral, overwhelming reaction that is a genuine state of being triggered. Even the word trauma or traumatised itself has become a common stand-in for subtler and more accurate language like ‘upset’.
People offhandedly describe the trauma of minor inconveniences, usually with the intent of being relatable and cheeky. Still, over time, this can make it difficult for people experiencing distressing episodes related to conditions like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) to explain the seriousness of their situation and receive adequate compassion and support.
It’s understandable that professional diagnostic processes are often unaffordable or inaccessible, and it’s fantastic that therapeutic terms are now available to help explain our experiences more easily. But at what point have we overcorrected to the point that it’s impossible to distinguish genuine mental health needs from hyperbolic ranting and attention-grabbing online?
Kowalenko said the solution requires striking a balance; vocalising our challenges and seeking support while also using emotional resilience and coping skills.
“In our increasingly complex and often distressing world, it’s important to distinguish between normal emotional responses and mental health conditions,” she said.
“Over-pathologising can lead to a victim mentality, where individuals see themselves as perpetually unwell.”
This is not to say that people simply need to ‘toughen up’, but more an encouragement to acknowledge that life is inherently challenging at times, and having psychological and emotional ups and downs is quite normal in this environment.
The late philosopher Jiddu Krishnamurti famously said: “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society”. We all struggle with the bleakness of life from time to time, and this can happen without any psychological pathology playing a role.
It is possible to connect and express your emotional difficulties without defaulting to self-diagnosis or overusing therapy speak. Language is powerful, helping to shape and create the social world we live in.
“While the rise of therapy speak reflects positive changes in how we view and discuss mental health, it’s essential to use this language responsibly,” said Kowalenko.
“By doing so, we can ensure that these terms retain their meaning and continue to support, rather than hinder, our understanding and empathy for those with genuine mental health conditions.
“By focusing on self-expression and seeking professional assessment for diagnosing and understanding mental health conditions, we can ensure that therapy speak serves its intended purpose of fostering empathy, support, and a deeper understanding of the human experience.”
Do you need help?
If you need support with your mental health or are worried about someone you know, reach out.
Lifeline offers a free, confidential phone counseling service, accessible 24/7 by calling 13 11 14.
Your GP can also provide you with a mental health plan and a referral to a psychologist or counsellor. Our guide on how to find the right therapist for your mental health needs offers some helpful tips.
Beyond Blue can also provide information, resources, and support to people experiencing mental health concerns across Australia.
